Kaylah Mack, Staff Writer

This year, I decided that I was going to spend Spring Break with my family and my boyfriend in the Bahamas for a week. During our time, we had little to no service, so we had no idea what was taking place on the other side of the world. When I returned back from the Bahamas, I was extremely overwhelmed with endless emails in regards to school now being remote for the remainder of the year due to COVID-19. 

A wave of emotions took over me; I was confused, disappointed, and even mournful.

My study abroad trip to Brazil that I was looking forward to this summer had been cancelled. Not only was my summer not going as planned, but I was no longer granted the opportunity to give a proper goodbye to my friends and even staff that I formed relationships with on campus. I was no longer being granted the Spring semester that every AUC student looks forward to, and I simply just wasn’t ready to go home so soon.

I couldn’t help but to think of all the seniors who will no longer have the final year they dreamed of since they walked through those Spelman gates. I also thought of the students on campus who were stuck and not able to report home like everyone else. Everyone’s narrative was now shifting.

All Spelman students had approximately one week to move off campus, if able, and return home immediately.

As I headed back to campus to pack my dorm up, I thought of all the responsibilities that I will be forced to take on when I return home. My father who is in the Navy had just been deployed overseas until July, so it was just going to be my brother, mother and I. Not only did this affect me, but also my brother’s academics as his schooling transitioned to online as well.

With my mother being an essential worker, I knew immediately that going home was going to be quite the transition.

Every day it has been my duty to take care of my younger brother and to assist him with his schooling while my mother is at work. I struggled for a while with the circumstances under the COVID-19 because this was not the spring semester that I envisioned for myself. I no longer was fulfilling my plans for the summer, and finding my place at home again became a battle.

For a college student, it’s tough to be abruptly forced to move back home after being in your own space for so long. It can be a disturbance to our mental and emotional health. I eventually realized that I needed to take the necessary steps in prioritizing my peace and pursue balance during this challenge.

To keep myself sane, I decided to take the time to participate in a few activities that I enjoy which include re-watching my all-time favorite shows and movies, creating playlists, reading, writing, listening to podcasts, meditating, exercising, baking, spending time with nature, and catching up with loved ones. Once I placed myself in this space of mind, I found the beauty in being home, spending time with my family, and showing up physically and virtually for my family and friends when they need me.

The conditions of COVID-19 taught me that God is in the details, and that all life moments should be punctuated with gratitude. If I continued to complain about situations that I cannot control, I would be insisting that I can run the world better than God and I know without a doubt that I’m not able to do that. I don’t know what he sees and what he knows.

Instead of waiting for a return to normal, I am now ready to build something different. Foundations can be fixed but if God isn’t the fixer I don’t see it standing a chance. 

Click here for Kaylah’s personally curated playlist “Heal” exclusively for Apple Music users.